only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
