i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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