No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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