She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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