I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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