Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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