so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I understand Curling. That high.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
