My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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