so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
