Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I love having hate sex.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
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Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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