Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
