i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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