now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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