that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
