i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
