I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm both gender and math confused
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
