just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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