ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
