If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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