I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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