no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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