I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
