WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
