Don't you send me to vm
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
