i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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