u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize