I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
