1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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