As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
