All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
