Your tits are I can't wait for
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
