I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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