Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
