Only a mothe r could love this liver
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Are my feet made of real feet?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
