Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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