I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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