Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
