I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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