So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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