then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
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We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
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It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I need water and some morals
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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