i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She told me I should be a condom model.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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