Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So squirting runs in the family.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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