You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm so fucking centered right now
someone get that fucking seahorse.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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