this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
