i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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