Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
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For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
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I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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