their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
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He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
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I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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