How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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