3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
