the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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