we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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