Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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