The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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