This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize