I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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