That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
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Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
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I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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