That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
